I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
