You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
