She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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