I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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