I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
