I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
