she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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