Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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