Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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