Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
