why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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