I want to make a zoo with you.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
