i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
