i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
