all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I still have a little drunk in my system