Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
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You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.