things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
