I just pynch a tree in the face
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
