Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
