Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
