So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize