I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
