2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
