This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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