Whod you bang
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
