smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
