god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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