Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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