If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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