The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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