Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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