how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
