a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
