the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
