"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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