Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize