Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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