I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she looked like the before picture.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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