dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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