Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
