FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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