i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They have beer where we have blood.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
