It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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