If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
