It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
