So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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