he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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