There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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