No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
