Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
