Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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