Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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