Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
