you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
