question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
