Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
