This girl is more easily done than said...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
