If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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