wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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