just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
