and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
