Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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