i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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