we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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