Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
