My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
