Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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