wat bout pragnant strippers??
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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