Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
